Healing the Spirit After Trauma
The average person deals with a wounded spirit, a “broken heart”, or splintered soul several times during their life time. If this happens to children, depending on the severity of the situation, it may take a life time of work to deal with the trauma. I was one of the children with “educated” mothers who followed the philosophy of only feeding a child every four hours regardless of their appetite or cries for food to “condition” them to the world. I was a lusty eater (still am) so every 2 1/2 hours I screamed my head off for 1 1/2 hours until I was too exhausted to properly suck the bottle resulting in swallowed air (colic) so that I had terrible pains in my stomach later and cried from that pain. Today I am not overweight, but I always make sure the refrigerator and pantry is stocked with food–in case. Not so curiously, I initially chose romantic relationships with people who couldn’t give affection and love, because of their own problems.
I knew one person who as a 5 year old was put in isolation in a polio ward for a year (couldn’t see his parents) and because he was verbal his bed was placed next to the iron lung so he could talk to that child. Every hour hot sheets were placed over the screaming children (”cure” from Scandinavia) and during that year he watched children around him die. His scars are formidable. Sometimes in these situations, the soul often decides to leave the body–a charitable angel or loving spirit–taking the child’s place in the same body.
As an adult, we go through experiences of being used and abused, betrayed, violated and exploited by those we have loved and trusted the most. How do we heal our spirit, because unlike young children, we have experience and education that can help us deal with the trauma. Of course there are the traditional methods: psychotherapy is invaluable–choosing certain vocations and working in charities are therapeutic. Medications may be helpful as an adjunct therapy and being around supportive and loving people are healing if they are available. Spiritual methods include meditation, prayer, being active in positive spiritual groups, and seeking out what Depak Chopra would call “the path of least resistance”–simple letting go of fighting your inner demons and the pressures of daily living. “Manana” is a custom that cuts through linear thinking and promotes solutions from the universe.
There is the– getting angry toward the culprit cure– versus– forgiving the transgressor cure. Each individual case is different. Often self-righteous anger can be justified in order to release the deadly repressed anger that can cause cancer and heart attacks. In one of the most comprehensive studies on Type-A personality and heart problems it was found that the two most important factors in Type A people who had heart attacks were 1. denial 2. consciously controlled anger (not expressing anger because it was viewed as inappropriate. This was a study done by Logan Wright who was president of the American Psychological Association.
Some people, even who have lost their children, can forgive the “murderer”, usually because their faith knows that this is a temporary event in the “soul’s journey”. An important variable to remember is that we come into each life time with a set of “lessons” to learn and with “teachers” to give them to us. In many cases it the same people from past life times that you “go around with again” changing roles accordingly. Loving people and betrayers are both “teachers”. Emerson believes that the latter are more valuable that the comforters.
O Our strength grows out of our weakness. The indignation which arms itself with secret forces does not awaken until we are pricked and stung and sorely assailed…. While he sits on the cushion of advantages, he goes to sleep. When he is punished, tormented, defeated, he has a chance to learn something; he has been put on his wits, on his manhood; he has gained facts; learns his ignorance; is cured of the insanity of conceit; has got moderation and real skill.
Ralph Waldon Emerson